I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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