no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
