Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
