Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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