I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
