My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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