Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
