Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
