I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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