i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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