So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't deserve a penis
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
