Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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