definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
