i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
