first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
