all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
