That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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