I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
