careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
