I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
