Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
