after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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