quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
