You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
