Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
