I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
