I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
