VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
