A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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