he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
