Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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