Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
