I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
