I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize