he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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