Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
