His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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