Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize