how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
