DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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