worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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