I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
