oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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