I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
