Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
