How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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