These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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