OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize