You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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