I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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