im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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