Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
