No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize