Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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