This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
