Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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