what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
