he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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