i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
