I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
