When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
