"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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