He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
