elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
