4 words: hood of his car
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
