meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize