oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you win again, gameday.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Two words: blizzard sex
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
