please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
