I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
