In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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