Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
