last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
