Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
