That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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