so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Randomize
