I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
