genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
