At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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