wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize