lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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